Lady Scoundrels’ Saturday: Song of Scarabaeus – Sara Creasy

March is well under way and Lady Scoundrel Saturday is back and this time with a review of a sci-fi book., and a new concept of presenting it. Let me present:

Song of Scarabaeus (Scarabaeus #1) by Sara Creasy

Blod: I did not finish, I am horrible, but I have reached the point where I just can’t read everything, I have to say no once and again. And for me this was a DNF. I was bored by page 1. They told me to go for 30, still bored, so I read (and skimmed) to 100 and said NO! 

Ram: And you chose the book! Thank you for that by the way. 

Ana: Yes, the choice was very nice, but not exactly fortunate for the chooser. I personally liked this novel and I was surprised Blodeuedd had so many problems with it. Life of a reader is never easy.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about this book?

B. Boooooooooooring! I did not give a rat’s ass about it.

Ram: Which I still can’t understand. For me, it’s the musical analogies. How what Edie does is like composing or playing music to her, which kind of makes sense if I start to think about coding and the mathematics of it. 

Ana: I immediately thought about the human race and the fact that too often we act as a major parasite – whenever we go we want to colonize, change and adapt and everything should submit. If it doesn’t work of if we are attacked by not-so defenceless locals we scream blue murder. 

Not what comes first to mind to me, but it’s true. We’re a horrible race.

Well, I liked the music references as well but after a moment they were kind of drowned by the purpose of Edie’s work.

B, why didn’t you like the book?

B: I got kind of confused at once, and the feeling never left me. I was bored, it felt heavy, I was lost and I just never felt a connection.

Ram: Did you just immediately lose interest and give up on it? The book never really had a chance to win you over after that bad start? Because I did think the beginning was difficult to get through but once I got on the other side it more than redeemed itself for me.

Ana: In my humble opinion there was too much nerdspeak at the very beginning. It was indeed difficult to swallow in one big gulp.

B. To answer Ram’s question, yes. Sometimes I feel at once that it will not work. Sometimes I can struggle, but at other times I need to give up. And the nerdspeak, I have read heavy nerdy books but at least they did not make me wanna tear my eyes out 😉

Ana: Ouch!

Ram: Ouch indeed.  I didn’t mind the nerdspeak, I minded the undefined abbreviations. But then again, I’d just finished reading another Scifi novel so it wasn’t a huge jump. 

What do you think of the main heroine, Edie? Could you relate to her easily?

B: Nope, I did not care really. I need to care when I read and she, well I felt nothing this time around. Yes I had issues with everything.

Ram: I liked that although she was the best of the best in one thing, she was basically innocent and ignorant in all others. Basic human interactions seemed like a difficult concept to her and her antisocial tendencies made it almost impossible for her to understand the larger implications of her actions. That’s why I felt like she and Finn made a good team. They balanced each other.

Ana: I found Edie difficult to like at first but learning more and more about her background made me more understanding. I appreciated her compassion and care, especially towards an alien planet she simply didn’t want to despoil. It was brave.

Ram: Brave and thoughtless. It turned out okay for her to a certain extent, but it could have gone horribly wrong for everyone. And it did.

There are certainly different kinds of bravery…

Ram: What do you mean? 

What did you think about the world building?

B: I am not the person to ask, but it seemed promising…some parts

Ana: I loved the descriptions of Scarabeus, the planet. The rest was so-so, especially the ship Hoi Polloi made me shrug more than one time. Less interesting than your average car ;p.

Ram: The ship and the space-bandits were quite a simplistic concept, but when I think to the beginning of the book and how Creasy mentioned something in passing only to expand on it later, and how it eventually became a pillar of a larger story, a guiding light to Edie’s purpose, I can’t but be awed. The relationship between Crib and the Fringers, the politics and the history that was only hinted at. I want to know more about it, and there is the second book, which hopefully will continue exploring concepts introduced here. A book I need to hunt down and read, soon.

What about Finn? A clever manipulator or a victim of politicians? 

B: Sadly I never got to know him cos you make him sound interesting

Ram: Can’t he be all those things? I think, in this book, he started out as a victim of his situation and a manipulator of the people directly around him..

Ana: Which is kind of awesome, taking into account the fact that he was a slave.

Ram: It is. He goes through a change, just like Edie, but different. He’s been enslaved and his voice had been taken from him. But his first word is a choice that costs a man his life and earns Finn his freedom. All his actions after that balance on a similar line. He’s protecting himself first and he’s willing to do anything including manipulating Edie to stay alive. I also think that towards the end, I saw the possibility of him becoming a skilled politician, but that’s Edie’s compassion having an influence on him.  

Did you like the title? Song of Scarabaeus? 

B: Sure, the title sounds cool.

Ana: Horrible and misleading ;p

Ram: It was the Scarabaeus I had trouble with. Made me think of a bad (wannabe) Egyptian erotica.

Ana: *dies laughing*

B: I have to put in a LOL here 😉 It shows I did not read it

Ram: What can I say? Previous bad experiences are bad.

Would you recommend the book and to whom? B, we’re not trying to exclude you or anything…

B: Ha, guess my answer. It’s a no. No one should read this book.

Ana: I would recommend this one to people who liked Wall-e and Star Wars 🙂

Ram: I fail to see how you connect Wall-e to this. I’d recommend this to people who like rogue alien worlds and don’t mind giving a book fifty pages to win them over. Yes, I upped it from thirty because obviously it didn’t work on B. I’ve not read enough Scifi to say more.

Ana: My connections with Wall-e? What about music? Space ships? A planet which needs saving? Eh, ok, Sirantha Jax fans then or those who like Scott Orson Card. 

Until next month then. I hope you enjoyed our programme.

😀

Lady Scoundrels’ Saturday: Dirty – Megan Hart

Lady Scoundrels are back and this time we review Dirty by Megan Hart. First up is Scorn.

Synopsis 
What I liked: 

What comes to your mind when you see erotica novels? Of course plenty of graphic sex scenes, a skeleton plot, a very superficial psychological make-up if any at all, characters often limited only to a description of an appearance. Small wonder plenty of readers shun these books considering them a waste of time and money. I am usually one of such readers. However Megan Hart managed to break that mould. 

I would compare ‘Dirty’ to ‘Bitter Moon’, an old movie by Roman Polanski which told a story of a romance in a very intelligent, funny and moving way. With the emphasis on ‘intelligent’ which always, entices me more than anything and makes me cave in even if, officially I am hardly a romance fan, let alone erotica reader. I found Elle a surprisingly complex heroine, taking into account what genre we are talking about. Her actions were fully justified by her sad experiences and reading about her I felt as if she was really alive, not one more sex-crazed cardboard character you can find galore in such novels. After a while you understand why she has acted they way she did but the full story is revealed at the end and the more you read the more you want to find out. You sympathize with her and with Dan who tries to lure her out of her shell and engage in a mature relationship. 

What I didn’t like: 

Although, up to a point, I could relate to Elle, I doubt such generous, understanding and patient men as Dan exist at all. He was like that fairy tale prince – a well-rounded lover, ready to be taken, without major commitments or vices. I can’t help thinking that in real life he would have a wife and at least several part-time bimbos hidden somewhere in the closet; that and a nasty habit or two ;p. 

Final verdict: 

If you feel like reading erotica go for something intelligent and read this one. The love scenes are really steamy hot and when you finish you won’t despise yourself for spending so much time with a ‘pink’ novel. 

Warning: 

It is an erotica romance novel – it contains a lot of graphic sex scenes which are highly inappropriate for underage public. Such issues as incest, suicide and sexual abuse of a minor are mentioned as well. Keep it in mind while deciding whether you want to read it or not.

 Sense says:

You don’t need to know who she is or who he is. All you need to know is that they meet by chance, they start fucking each other everywhere, he bosses her around, and she turns frigid after each fuck. And that it’s all boring.

As refreshing at it is to read about a successful—and surprisingly a total pushover—woman who fully embraces her sexuality, reading about said woman fucking a stranger in public places without preamble is not. When connecting with the characters is a problem, even the hottest sex scenes fall flat.

After all that it’s a bit too late to start fixing things. Although. If you’d take Dan and all the sex out I’d probably give this book four stars, because the only thing interesting in this book is Elle’s relationship with Gavin, the boy next door. Her secret might hit red on your squick scale but it’s quite obvious from the start. It was actually my first theory after reading couple of hints in the book. 

The end reveal was rushed and disappointing in all its telling—as opposed to showing. 

And last Sensitivity

I will give you that, it was dirty and hot…really dirty and hot. But as I am a known sex scene skimmer I do want more than that. And here it just did not work.

Elle was, well yes I know the whole point was that she was cold and needed to find the way to love and be loved again. But I never connected to her. As for Dan, him I never knew at all. I did not understand why he was with her, I did not feel a thing.

So I am stuck with 2 people I do not care about. Which leaves me with dirty sex scene (that I end up skimmin anyway cos I get bored by too much sex). I did like the whole plot though. Why she was so fucked up.

But I was bored, a lot. And while reading I actually fell sleep. There was still something good over the book, the emotional drama, the hot scene, the writing. But in the end not the book for me. No connection, no deal.

Lady Scoundrels’ Saturday: Battle Royale

We are back and today we are bringing you a Scoundrel review of

 Battle Royale by Koushun Takami

At first I had planned for short reviews and links to the longer but I do not want to censure thoughts in the end. Especially since Sense and Scorn are so awesome at what they do 🙂 First up is Scorn as she brings us a synopsis.

Synopsis:
Welcome to a dystopian East Asian country (like Japan but larger) where people live happily and peacefully under the watchful eye of your average, sadistic Dictator. In order to keep things straight under control once a year a class of 15-year-old junior high kids is sent to an enclosed location. The kids are given different weapons at random, weapons as different as an Uzi is different from an ice pick or a crossbow from a fork, a day pack with a bottle of water and they are told to go and kill each other. The last survivor wins. It is called the Program. If it serves a purpose nobody knows what purpose exactly.

In order to ensure there is no cheating (you know those pesky teens, they always cheat) each of the students is fitted with a nice shiny collar which allows to track them and listen to their conversations. The collar has also an in-built explosive device. No deaths for longer than 24 hours? All participants are eliminated. More than one survivor? All the rest is eliminated as well. Trying to hide somewhere for too long or trying to run away? The same outcome – you are blown up to smithereens.

You follow 42 students – the newest batch of victims – who have to participate in the Program. Who will win this time: energetic Yukie, the class Representative, selfish and manipulative Mitsuke, acting as if she was a female Yakuza mobster, mysterious Kazuo, a boy so gifted and so calm that he is followed and admired even by thugs, Noriko, just your ordinary, averagely pretty girl, or maybe Shuya, a kind orphan boy who likes those forbidden rock and roll songs and plays the electric guitar? Or maybe somebody else? Can anybody truly be a winner in such circumstances?

What I liked:
There were many stories included in one bigger story and I found them the best part of  this book. More than dozen of students were given an opportunity to tell you about their hopes and fears. Because of that they became real, three-dimensional characters, not just a shooting range dummies. It was really the “good stuff”  for me – watching all the little petty relationships, conflicts and problems you have when you are 15 suddenly twisted horribly by the extreme fear of knowing only one person will be allowed to live and your classmates and friends have to become your deadly enemies.

Of course there was violence, quite a lot of it, but I would compare it to one of these cheesy movies of Tarantino – you are disgusted, you know it is bad but you still want to watch. Indeed it might be treated as great entertainment only by people with a tolerance for high amounts of guts-and-gore, but, as it was also a really well-done study of the psychology of extreme fear and included some insights about totalitarianism as well  somehow I managed to survive. The personal stories, often told in an almost poetic way, stop Battle Royale from spiraling into a mindless bloodbath.

What I didn’t like:
First let me tell you that the first 50-60 pages were downright boring. Then the action accelerated and here I hit another snag – Battle Royale was a lot more graphic than I’d imagined. So instead of puking up the contents of my stomach, I just skipped the paragraphs describing blood and bashed-in brains. In fact from time to time the plot was so childish that it reminded me those computer games when you kill and kill and kill and finally you forget about the reason why you keep doing it because it doesn’t matter as long as the next opponent lies, neutralized, in a puddle of blood. Frankly the detailed descriptions of different violent deaths were horribly ridiculous.

What’s more even from the first chapter the plot was rather obvious – you could guess with a high success rate who would be killed and how soon.  The style of the narrative I also found a bit uneven, or maybe it was the problem with the translation, I really can’t tell. Anyway the descriptions were very anime, which makes me think that if the writing had been really beautiful, or if any of the emotions had been deeper, I may have liked this book a lot better.

Finally the ending…I must say I was completely disappointed by it. It was a ridiculous and artificial construction of a plot-twist after a plot-twist (so you thought they were really dead?! No! They are alive! No, wait, they are going to be dead soon…or maybe not?). I was not amused.

Final verdict:
Personally I liked this novel despite its many flaws but in my view it is not perfect and certainly not for everybody. Still cult novels (yes, it is one of them) are so hard to resist so how to tell whether or not it is your next best thing? Well, if you salivate at the mere thought of a book which combines Manga and Anime poesy, Hunger Games-style action, Lord of the Flies political undercurrents and an amount of atrocities straight from Quentin Tarantino movies this might be a perfect read for you. Do not read it if you are feeling nauseous even after my quite innocuous synopsis. Helpful? I hope so.

—————

And now on to what Sense has to say

What can I say about this black and red covered brick that hasn’t been said already? 

Not much. Nothing at all.

The translation sucks. It’s uneven, sloppy, and it’s painful to read at times. It’s the reason I kept putting this book down and reading something else instead. It’s not, however, enough to hide the great story underneath. 

The beginning of the novel is bogged down by long infodumbs explaining the game, the government’s approach, and pointing out most if not all of the 42 players. That’s a lot of names and factoids for a reader to remember and I wish the author had just picked a handful of core characters to properly introduce before hitting the “start game” button. Takami doesn’t have any trouble introducing new characters later in the book while detailing the progress of the killing game, and I don’t understand why he couldn’t have used that same tactic from the start. And that’s what I loved most about this book. As bloody and gory as it is, it also gives voices and personalities to even the most obnoxious characters. They were the best part of this book.

The heroes and heroine, however, were not. Noriko redeemed herself somewhat towards the end, but in doing so she took away Shuya’s last chance to morph into an interesting character. Of the three, both in the book and the film, most interesting was Shogo. You can guess how I felt about that moment on the mountain top, if you’ve read the book.

There are two endings for this story, the first on the island and the second off the island. I would’ve loved had the first been the final ending, but I can understand why the second one exists. The confrontation with the government representative was necessary because of the world Takami created and because of the message he wanted to convey at the end. 

I could have preferred had it been done without the lyrics, though.

…………………….

And now on to Sensitivity (and I still claim I should be called Silly cos I have been harsh lately haha)

As ebooks always have funky pages I can’t say for how long the book was REALLY boring, 60 pages perhaps. So very boring. If this had not been a Scoundrel book then I would have given up long before. So I read, but then I started to grow tired by it all again. It was not that it was bad, it as just long, and I read fantasy books longer than this. But it was slow and boring at times, and at other times it was really good

By page 300 or so I started to skim, and skimming on an e-reader takes time, so I still read most of it.

Why did it not work: A very SLOW beginning. The flashbacks, come on, flashbacks all the time, while I was all just kill each other and put me out of my misery. Also, what was up with the constant “who do you have a crush on?” Really, people are running around chopping each other to pieces and still everyone seems to take time and talk about crushes. I would be hiding and not talking..oh and checking so no one comes near. Stupid teens.

The violence was not that violent actually. I mean yes it was violent, but I would not say it was that graphic. Also it was interesting to compare with the Hunger Games. Yup she def took a few things from this one. And The Hunger games is a 8 year old girl’s bday party compared to this book. Sure it’s an adult book but you catch my drift. Games to the death should be bloody and freaking horrible.

I also did not like that there was no point to the Games. Other than a fucked up society. And the end, I did not like the end. I want conclusions. Not something that leaves me hanging. I hate that shit.

Good at times, boring at times. It gets an ok grade for me for that. Still an interesting insight into a society that is just all kinds of messed up.

The END

Lady Scoundrels’ Saturday: A night like This – Julia Quinn

Welcome to Lady Scoundrels’ Saturday. We are re-inventing the whole idea so today you will get two full length reviews. Both Sense and Sensitivity and when 2013 comes around we will be back with new ideas.

Lady Scoundrels review A Night Like this

Part 1 Scorn

And now Part 2. Sense

I wish I could upgrade the rating from suckity-suck to the theory-good-practice-not level, but I can’t. This book read like someone, after having written one historical romance too many, decided to fake it and throw together an endless string of period appropriate sounding platitudes. When I start paying attention to the language and platitudes, you know the story sucks.

Annelise Sophronia Sawcross – Anne Wynter is a governess at the Pleinsworth household. She’s very lucky to have such a good position after being forced to live on her own and slave for her only two letters of recommendation. Of course someone is going to walk into her life and ruin it for her. The disaster comes in form of Daniel Smythe-Smith, the Earl of Winstead, recently returned from three year exile on the continent.

The heroine, at sixteen, was a vain and self-absorbed nitwit who got herself into trouble with a man she loved. After eight years she’s grown up a bit; I just don’t think she’s grown up enough. She’s a wishy-washy thing who on a theoretic level recognises the boundaries of her station in life, but in reality fails to show any kind of moral backbone and act accordingly. One minute she’s begging the oh so high above her earl to kiss her and another she’s pulling away, telling him to leave, and saying sorry for things she’s only half responsible for. Anne Wynter isn’t a woman who has learned to clean up her own messes.

What of the hero then? He’s another precious aristocrat, a babe in a man’s body, an adolescent who has given up alcohol but failed to fix whatever got him into the trouble with the Ramsgates and forced him to flee England in the first place. One minute he’s acting like any other man with a woman—stealing kisses, copping a feel—and another he’s a virginal youth dreaming of holding hands with his very first sweetheart ever.

Nothing of this story comes across convincing or consistent let alone appealing.

The whole book is basically about Anne thinking she shouldn’t but doing it anyway, and Daniel flying off the handle but failing to harm the one person most deserves to be harmed—himself.

Without the costumes and dates mentioned, I wouldn’t have thought I was reading a historical romance. The characters don’t exactly talk and act like people from the 1900’s. (I swear to all things holy Anachronist is brainwashing me because I never used to notice these things.)  Of course I’m not an expert on the language but some of the expressions Quinn uses feel too modern for the context. There were good quotes and an odd scene or two that were almost entertaining, but nothing in the way this author writes is especially attractive to me.

This was my first attempt reading a Julia Quinn novel and it looks to be my last.

Series: Smythe-Smith Quartet #2
Pages: 373 (paperback)
Publisher: Piatkus Books
ISBN: 0062072919
Published: May 29th 2012
Source: Bought

Part 3 Sensitivity

I was disappointed, there is no other way to describe it. I was about to give this book a 3, solely cos of my love for Quinn and the last 30 pages…yeah. But hey I need to be harsh, if it does not work is does not work. It was sadly just ok (except for those last 30 pages that is.)

What was my first complaint? Insta love. I mean come on! Daniel comes home, spots a woman and falls in love. Ahem, no sorry Daniel, that means you fancy her and wants to throw her down on the rug and have your wicked way with her. You are not in love. He then tracks her down and jumps her, she just lets him. Again, what? This doesn’t really fit her back story.

For me the insta love just did not work here. He chased a dream and she was cold and I never felt that she liked him  back. I never felt anything from her. She was a ghost, a very pretty ghost who changes the air in the room. Yes we get it, she is Miss Universe. And all of this ultimately means that the love story just fell short for me. On the one hand there was lust from our earl ( I refuse to say love) and from her…nothing.

I did like the mystery. Who is trying to hurt him. That was exciting. While her story, is someone after her was silly. Just get over it.

And then we have the epic last 30 pages. The chase is on. What will they do? Those were sadly the best pages of the book.

But something did  make me want more, Hugh, I want Hugh to find a girl. I really liked Hugh. Yes the person I liked the most was a side character that  shows up 4 times or so.

The only thing that would make me want more Smythe-Smiths, is that I heard that Hugh does in fact get a book. Because else, then this series would go from autobuy to maybe. And it still might.

Cover Snark

The Blue one is nice but when is she running at night, and wearing pink shoes?

The Second is cute, but not memorable

Lady Scoundrels’ Saturday: A night Like this – Julia Quinn

Over the next 3 Saturdays we will be taking on A night like this by Julia Quinn.

Lady Scoundrels Review A Night like this

Part 1 Scorn:

The revenge will be bloody

Once upon a time an English aristocrat called Daniel returned home from three years of wandering abroad. You see, he was hiding from another aristocrat who wanted to kill him. Ok, never mind.  As soon as he returned he saw a beautiful girl. “She was petite, small in that way that made a man want to slay dragons”. I don’t doubt she looked like this:

Oh no, sorry, wrong picture. She was of course looking like this:

Nononono, wrong picture again. Ok, I am pretty sure she looked more like this:

Here you go. She was playing the piano and, as soon as he saw her and she saw him they fell in complete insta-lust. It was as if his inner self kept whispering into his ear:

WRhawwwrrrr….Of course, being a young man and an English aristocrat to boot he had to check whether that claim was more or less true. His beloved was called Anne Wynter and she was employed as a governess in the house of his female cousins who, being unbearably shallow and sweet, all looked the same :

They tittered and quarrelled and giggled…Well, they had every right to be similar and stupid, it’s not their story, right? Anyway Daniel started to visit them very often just to be in the blissful presence of their governess and…er…touch her hand from time to time.

Still the governess had her own secrets and, being very sadly experienced when it comes to the close contacts with the so-called gentlemen she wasn’t that willing to let him touch her…er… anything. Daniel also had a bunch of problems on his own. 

No, dear ladies, there is nothing to laugh about. English aristocrats do have serious problems and English governesses always have a secret or two hidden in a drawer right next to their underwear. Do you want proof? Here you go, a direct quote:

“He wanted her. He wanted her completely. But his family was waiting for him at supper, and his ancestors were staring down at him from their portrait frames, and she—the woman in question—was watching him with a wariness that broke his heart..”

You see? A real problem. 

Then they go to the country together and our sweet Anne found herself falling deeper and deeper in lust because Daniel was so sweet and so pretty and SO incredibly rich…and here the problems of our governess started to emerge from her overflowing drawer:

But really, it didn’t matter who she was. Anne Wynter . . . Annelise Shawcross . . . Neither one of them was a suitable match for Daniel Smythe-Smith, Earl of Winstead, Viscount Streathermore, and Baron Touchton of Stoke. He had more names than she did. It was almost funny.

Yes, dear sir, you heard it right. It was said ‘funny’.

Then there is a lot of talk about food and food preferences, kissing or not kissing, strolling or not strolling and different trivial hobbies of young brainless ladies. You see, Daniel wanted to know his beloved better, to see her soul and her heart, not only her luscious body. Do guys necessarily need a woman’s background history to spontaneously want to bang her or play epic-kiss-face? Yes they do. But only just a little bit. A real masterpiece of romance literature, with great, well-rounded, interesting characters don’t you think, dear reader? 

After a while my eyebrows get stuck up high and I couldn’t believe I was reading such a depressingly shallow book. Still a challege is a challege, right? After page number 65 I started SKIMMING.

It didn’t help much. You see I kept encountering such fragments:

“Could you imagine? Telling Lady Pleinsworth the truth about her background? Well, the thing is, I’m not a virgin. And my name is not really Anne Wynter. Oh, and I stabbed a man and now he’s madly hunting me until I’m dead. A desperate, horrified giggle popped out of Anne’s throat. What a resumé that was.”

I was just waiting for the main villain to appear and save the day. Silly, silly me. Instead of a villain I got a papercut bloke.

“George just shrugged, and in that moment he confirmed all of Anne’s darkest suspicions. He was mad. He was utterly, completely, loonlike mad. There could be no other explanation. No sane individual would risk killing a peer of the realm in order to get to her.”

Irrefutable logic, my lady.

The ending was in perfect accordance with the rest of the book: senseless, stupid, shallow, not really resolving anything so completely redundant. But it was the end of my suffering. 

Final verdict:

After reading such a book I feel like this:

I do not recommend it to anybody. Unless you are a masochist.

Bridget/anachronist

Lady Scoundrels’ Saturday: The Raven Prince – Elizabeth Hoyt

Today is the last part of Lady Scoundrels review: The Raven Prince. Next week we will be back with a new book. Stay tuned for that.

Part 1 Scorn 

Part 2 Sense

And today it’s my turn, Sensitivity *coughs*

I was unsure about the grade but I am just gonna go all bitchy on this book. Truth be told, I sat there reading and nitpicking and never truly connected. Did it make me want to read more by this author…no. Would it make me pick up more books by her if I found them at the library, no, and that really means it should get a 2. Which is still of course an ok grade. Cos it was not all bad.

So many things irritated me with this book. The first time Anna sees and hears Edward she thinks of one thing..is that how his voice sounds when making love? Honestly? Wtf, someone needs to get laid and fast. I doubt a prim 18th century widow would think that.

Then she becomes his secretary, again, wtf is this? She is a woman! Then she dines and rides with him. Oh girl, do not talk about that your reputation might take a hit, everyone, I mean everyone would already think you are his mistress. And if they are not then something is seriously wrong with that village.

The sexual tension continues *yawns*. She is also not repulsed by his scars cos he is pretty on the inside or whatever. Really? I found him to be quite the ass in the beginning. Also how they sparred at once. No no, that is not proper etiquette. You are obviously a loose woman. Why he keeps thinking of you are a virtuous saint I do not know.

To the brothels! Yes she finds a note and begins to think why men gets to smex around but women don’t. Hello, because that is the era you live in. Do not go all modern on me or I will kick your ass. Anyway, what does our prim heroine do, yes she talks to a whore for 2 minutes and decides to go to a brothel and have sex with Edward. What? When did this happen? I am totally lost by this plot. WHY on earth would you do that? Just lift your skirts to him in the library and have at it. Yes he would not think you all prim and proper afterwards but at least you would get laid. Pretending to be someone else behind a mask at a brothel is something that does not go through my head. You also put yourself up to be raped by strangers, sold, killed, where is your head?

Of course he later finds out, duh, so we could totally have been spared the stupid brothel story, oh and I must also mention that he has a magic penis. A very magical penis that cures every womb.

Let’s see, anything else I can snark at….I actually liked that she took pity on the prostitute, that I liked.

Oh the villains. Do not even get me started, another stupid plot that made no sense. Someone making a big deal of nothing. I could have been spared that too, it was just embarrassing and I wanted to hide behind my book.

Last, I am sure all these things could have been forgiven one way or another but at the end I realized that I suffered through the book and never connected. Why would I connect to the prim widow who just thinks about sex. Or the earl who goes on and on about how ugly he is and lusts after his secretary. An easy way to fix that, try to seduce her, if that fails, pay her off. I did not feel the chemistry, I did not get why she liked him, or he her, as she was so plain and that he says a lot. But hey she was outspoken, he must like a challenge.

I fear that yes I like HR, but HR does not like me back. I keep trying and I am sure everyone thinks I love HR to pieces, but I don’t. It seldom impresses me. I enjoy it, it’s a good genre, good escapism in it’s silliness. But great, no, not that often. Really seldom really.

Would I recommend it..no not really.

Cover Snark:

So that is the ugly guy..yeah, sorry can’t see it. Then I do prefer this other cover: