Today I have Gini Koch over with a fun post, yay 🙂
Happy release Day to Alien in the House!
Top 10 Ways to Avert the Destruction of the World
By Gini Koch
Katherine Kitty Katt-Martini knows how to save the world. In a variety of ways. Sometimes she even has to do it in her sleep. So think of what she manages when she’s awake. In honor of the release of her latest exploits, chronicled in Alien in the House, here’s her go-to list for how to keep the world spinning and at least some of the populace none the wiser.
10. Remember that animals are your friends! What looks like a dangerous prehistoric attack dog can be used for good. This is also true for dogs, cats, cute little bundles of alien fur, and alien attack peacocks. Just be sure to have lots of raw chicken handy.
9. Pack your purse with whatever you can think of. Treat it as if you were going to go on Let’s Make a Deal during Militia Week. You never know when a pen, a wad of paper, or a can of hairspray will come in handy, and a Glock with extra clips never goes out of style.
Until a politician proves otherwise, assume he or she is out to kill you and everyone else you love. That goes double for anyone working in the C.I.A. unless their name is Chuckie Reynolds.
7. Read the briefing books. Or not. Someone else is sure to know the answer and you can spend the time doing something else, like listening to music and kicking bad guy butt.
6. Speaking of music, listen to it all the time. Rock and roll is your friend. It can rev you up, hurt your enemies if played loudly enough, soothe many a savage alien beast, give you tips, hints, and clues, and keep you relaxed. And don’t limit yourself. Tears for Fears can save the day just as well as Aerosmith, so feel free to branch out and try everything.
5. Remember that while looking good is important to those you work with, nothing says “ready for action” like a good pair of jeans, your best pair of Converse, and a rocking band T-shirt, Aerosmith for preference. Sure, other bands can work, but so far, nothing has overcome the Bad Boys from Boston — and let’s face it, nothing ever will.
4. Learning martial arts, Kung Fu for preference, is never a bad idea. Keep these skills up. Other than the meditation part, which, like reading the briefing books, is probably better left to someone else. Someone with a much higher tolerance for boredom.
3. Being able to run far and fast is never a bad thing and can, many times, save your life. If you’re still in school, join the track team. If you’re not, just run a lot. All those pets will appreciate the opportunity to run with you, too. As will many of the people you work with. Some of them will insist on making you run every day, whether you want to or not, so just go with “want to” as your norm.
2. When a horrific monster appears in front of you, the Woman of Today slams a heavy pen into its back or sprays it in the face with extra hold hairspray and calls it good. Never shirk from your duty — if it’s scary and needs to die, well, kill it. You have that packed purse and all that Kung Fu training for a reason. And if you’re out of ideas, call your mom. It’s guaranteed that she’s been hiding a secret life in kick butt espionage and will have some important tips once she discovers what you’re really up to.
1. Remember what you’re fighting for — the protection of the world and all the people you love in it, along with the right to continue to have great sex with your man, the Alien Sex God, otherwise known as Jeff Martini. If you ever falter, just think about the fact that if the terrorists win, you don’t get to do the deed with Jeff any more, and, trust me, you’ll find the will to go on, the power to do the impossible, and the creativity to figure out what the crazed evil geniuses have going.
1 signed copy Alien in The House with a set of magnets & postcards
1. Open to ALL, yes everywhere in the world
2. Ends May 21nd
3. Just enter 😀
Or say something about why this book sounds fun
Gini Koch lives in Hell’s Orientation Area (aka Phoenix, AZ), works her butt off (sadly, not literally) by day, and writes by night with the rest of the beautiful people. She writes the fast, fresh and funny Alien/Katherine Kitty Katt series for DAW Books, the Necropolis Enforcement Files series, and the Martian Alliance Chronicles series for Musa Publishing. As G.J. Koch she writes the Alexander Outland series. She also writes under a variety of other pen names (including Anita Ensal, Jemma Chase, A.E. Stanton, and J.C. Koch), listens to all kinds of music 24/7, and is a proud comics geek-girl willing to discuss at any time why Wolverine is the best superhero ever (even if Deadpool does get all the best lines). She speaks frequently on what it takes to become a successful author and other aspects of writing and the publishing business. She is also the Lead Editor at Raphael’s Village, an online, nonpaying ‘zine. Because she wasn’t busy enough, Gini’s added on featured guest columnist, reviewer, and webcaster for Slice of SciFi and It’s Comic Book Day. She can be reached through her website at http://www.ginikoch.com